Today was a wake up call. I've always understood the need to keep moving or else things are going up seize up. While this has always made sense, I've never had it come up for me. I've always been very busy and active.
For about the last three weeks I have not been working. Events as of late have put me in a funk, and I've started to question whether or not gardening was my profession . I've also questioned if my decisions were right, and ultimately, if I was good at what I do. It's been a very dark period, but I can finally see the clearing through the trees. I'm clear that gardening is all I know how to do with any degree of certainty, plus it's my passion.
So today, I actually got off my butt and got back to work. I was quickly reminded about both my age, and how my extended time away getting my head straight, took it's toll. I was surprised at how by about the 6th dietes, my wrist started hurt. I was also surprised at how my middle finger on my left hand, started to hurt. This is really weird because I'm right handed, I have no idea why this would ache.
I also noticed around the fifth hour, how tired I was. This was a big surprise as well. I used to be able to work like crazy, for hours. Not working for this short amount of time, has ruined my stamina. This will come back, I'm sure of it.
This year, more then any other year, my fingers look as if I'm starting to get arthritis. Luckily my joints that look disfigured don't hurt at all. I am very aware that my wrist hurts tonight though. Is it carpal tunnel syndrome? Or just a weak wrist getting back to work. I'm hopeful for the latter, and with a bit more work, everything will be greased up and back to normal.
This isn't meant to be a depressing post, because despite my mental set back, I'm so happy. I truly do love to garden. I needed to reassess, and I'm now confident in my abilities and my choices.
This post is also a word or two to the wise:
If you don't use it, you lose it.
Just keep swimming.

